How to deal with rude a**holes

Earlier in the week an incident occurred that hurt me. I might have tricked you all into thinking I’m an always confident, badass who (insert double snap) owns it 100% of the time but, sometimes, not so much. What happened hurt my self-perception, my self-confidence, I felt insulted and it resulted in me feeling less beautiful. I forgot a very important fact, that when you’re dealing with assholes, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

When somebody feels the need to insult you, call you a name, bring you down a peg or generally just act like an a-hole, it comes from a deep place of lack, of unhappiness and of egotism. While this is no excuse to act inappropriately, unfortunately, it happens. The only thing you can control is your reaction.

Not everybody is as full of love as you, not everybody is as kind as you, indeed, some people weren’t smacked as a child when they said something mean (I can still feel the keen sting on my bum cheeks when I think about it). The best way to deal with assholes is to retort with compassion. For no truly happy person feels the need to insult another, happiness removes the need. It can be difficult to remove yourself from the words and insults of people like this, especially when it has touched on an insecurity or attacked your personal worth. But you have to remember that the opinion of somebody who says mean things isn’t an opinion you should value, nor is it accurate or even worth your time. Let it go and move on, knowing that fortunately, you’ll never feel the need to hurt another person because you are not, in fact, an a-hole. 😉

Being a gym noob is scary

Going to the gym when you aren’t completely confident in what you’re doing can be nerve-wracking. That area with all the sweaty dudes and the free weights is a daunting, no-go zone and frankly, it’s just easier to hide away on a cardio machine than potentially cause a catastrophe attempting to perform a weighted exercise. I’ve been there.

Ironically, while initially being in a gym can be the cause of anxiety, training in itself is one of the best ways to reduce anxiety. So here are some handy things I have learnt along the way to put your mind at ease.

  1. 90% of the dudes in the weights room don’t know what they’re doing either. Nobody is judging you. Those who are looking at you are mostly thinking “God I hope nobody is watching me do this weird rowing exercise I saw on”. The rest of the people looking at you are admiring you, checking you out or trying to copy what you’re doing.
  2. People who work at the gym are willing to help. Some of the PTs there are creeps who stare when you bend over, others are genuine– taking the help of a trainer or booking in a session when you’re new is a good way to go.
  3. Start simple. Attempting a weighted burpee, dead lift into an overhead press is not the greatest starting exercise. Stick to lunges, arm isolation exercises, machine work, bent over rows and anything that doesn’t require advanced technique.
  4. Start light. You will soon be repping out 100kg like a boss but for now, stick to a weight that you can control.
  5. Classes are a good place to start and an easy place to stand in the back where if you go left instead of right, nobody will notice.
  6. Accidents happen. For any dropped dumbbell or treadmill catastrophe you’ve had, I guarantee there have been 100 others, some involving weed pants.
  7. Keep trying. It will become easier.

When a man calls you bossy, it’s a good thing.

When I was little I remember being called bossy and even today it’s been used to describe me by a few people I know with a wry smile. The word means that I’m an assertive woman. Notice “bossy” is never used to describe men. No. It’s a term used to label women who speak with too much confidence too often. Whenever I’ve been called bossy as an adult I give a smile and a wink but what I’m really thinking is “you accidentally put a Y on the end of boss.”

There are many reasons it’s important to be a strong woman. Not just physically but emotionally and mentally too. Strong women aren’t affected by the words of those whose opinions they don’t value. These women have worked out who they are, what makes them unique and they are self assured enough to take criticism. Strong women raise intelligent, confident children. They lead others, they lead decision making, they lead countries. Strong women achieve goals, chase careers and their faces grace bank notes. Strong women know their self worth, they know what they want and how to get it. Strong women scare boys and intrigue men. The same women aren’t afraid to make mistakes, admit to those mistakes and learn how to not make them again. Strong women aren’t afraid of other females, they don’t feel threatened, they don’t feel the need to belittle or intimidate. Strong women are at peace for they know they possess all that they require within them to achieve everything they put their mind to. –

I haven’t yet achieved everything I mentioned above but it’s something I strive toward and I hope that you all strive for the same. There’s nothing more inspiring, more dangerous or more impressive than a strong woman.🌸😏 

Happy Monday. 

All of a sudden everybody is reverse dieting

Reverse dieting. It’s the fitness buzzword of the moment, the new flavour of the month and everyone seems to be doing it, or planning on doing it in the very near future. It seems that a lot of people are somewhat confused about what a reverse diet actually does, what it means and many fitness enthusiasts seem to be under the impression that by some scientific miracle reverse dieting allows us to stay bullshit lean while eating lots and lots of carbs. Unfortunately this is not the case.

First things first, there is no way of “tricking” your body into maintaining a low body weight on calories above maintenance. This myth seems to have arisen from circumstances where those who are embarking on a reverse diet have lost weight in the initial stages of increasing calories. People think, “wow! I’m losing weight and eating more, reverse dieting is magic!” Unfortunately this isn’t Hogwarts, you aren’t Harry Potter and what you’re experiencing isn’t magic. If an individual encounters weight loss during the early stages of a reverse diet, while slowly increasing from a deficit towards maintenance, that individual is losing weight because they are still in a deficit. Once the individual reaches “maintenance” the weight loss will cease and as the name suggests, weight will be maintained. This is when the real benefits of reverse dieting begin.

The real goal of reverse dieting happens above maintenance level and depending on whom you speak to, the slow introduction of calories before maintenance level is a complete waste of time. By not jumping straight to maintenance you are simply prolonging a deficit and the negative effects of a deficit state, the counter argument being that the prolonged deficit state is easier to cope with mentally.

Above maintenance level really a reverse diet is just a slow bulk. Calories are introduced gradually and in a controlled way to allow the body to adapt to increased energy intake with the aim of minimising fat gain. By sending your body into a calorie surplus slowly you can reap the benefits of everything a calorie surplus offers (think muscle gain, glycogen filled muscles, increased energy levels, quicker recovery) while having the relative control to not gain an excessive amount of weight.

Reverse dieting has many benefits and it is definitely the way to go if you wish to improve while still maintaining relatively good conditioning. However, a reverse diet only qualifies as so if the food you are eating is measured and the macro amounts introduced are controlled. Therefore if you don’t track but simply “eat clean” and claim to be “reverse dieting” what you are actually doing is bulking with a blindfold on- don’t confuse the two.

Happy reversing!

You can’t please everyone, so please yourself

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and with that being said, you are never going to be able to impress everyone. To some you may be too skinny, to others too thick. Some people will find your face beautiful, others may criticise it. You may be seen by some as too big, too small, too tall, too short, too muscly and to others you may be perfect. Even those who you perceive to be the most beautiful have their detractors.

What is really a lot more important than any of the above is that you look in the mirror and love you. Not just your outer shell but your entire being. Who you are, what you are capable of, your ability for kindness, for generosity, your intelligence and your unique way of doing things, these all make you who you are- not the way you look.

For at the end of the day you are the only person who you can guarantee to receive love from. And a beautiful soul is always going to outshine a beautiful face.


Get a six pack in 3 minutes or less… Or not.

The fitness industry is plagued by the myth of the “quick fix”. The offerings range from pills, to slimming drinks, teas to hunger supressing gels amongst thousands of others. What these gimmicks have in common is that they have absolutely no scientific backing and a large majority of them simply don’t work.

Those who seek the “quickest” way to get a flat stomach, the “quickest” way to shed calories or the “quickest” way to bulk up are also unknowingly seeking unsustainable progress. A wise person once told me that if you’re only willing to put in a portion of the work required then you can only expect a portion of the results. The fact of the matter is that building muscle, becoming stronger, creating a stronger metabolism and being capable of maintaining weight on higher calories takes time. It takes dedication and there is no quick fix.

It is a fact that humans seek instant gratification. We live in a world where at the click of a button we can buy things, sell things, learn things, make things and have food delivered to our door, so it’s no wonder that we crave these kind of instant results when it comes to fitness. Unfortunately the kinds of progress we make quickly when it comes to getting fit and losing weight are often unsustainable and while they may work in the short term, it may be at the cost long-term success.

The way I see it is, any one is capable of eating 1000 calories a day to drop weight and stay relatively lean. Equally, any one is also capable of eating in a 2000-calorie surplus and gaining weight. Both of these methods are in no way optimal and the results are in no way enjoyable. When it comes to losing fat it’s best to do so on as many calories as possible, when it comes to gaining weight it’s best to do so on as little calories as possible, the larger the surplus, the more chance you have of gaining unwanted fat on your muscle mission.

My suggestion to you is that you remove yourself from the long accepted idea that we need to eat less to lose weight and instead, eat more. Eat at maintenance and above, train to build muscle and alter your body composition, train to increase your strength and your endurance while fuelling your body optimally to do so. Eat in a slight surplus for months, do it for years and I assure you that further down the track when you have put in the work you will be able to drop weight on a large amount of food. Or even better, you might never feel the need to drop weight because somewhere along the journey you’ll realise you love yourself, in all your strength and beauty, just the way you are.

So please, kick the quick fixes to the curb and focus on creating a sustainable lifestyle that will ensure long term, ongoing success.

If you want some extra help please send me an email

Flexible Dieting: Why it rocks, how it works and why it’s the sustainable approach.

The most common epic fails are I’m going to get fit, I’m going to lose a few kilos and I’m going to give up X, when X stands for anything that tastes good, feels good or looks really great. The thought is there but generally changing habits is really hard, tiring, unenjoyable and unsustainable so predictably, most people give up. This is human and it is normal. When it comes to dieting, a sustainable approach does exist– it’s all about balance.

For a long time I was driven by what I would describe as a hatred of the way I looked. I ate minimally, I classed foods as “good” and “bad”, avoided entire food groups altogether, trained daily for hours, spent a lot of time doing cardio and “punished” myself with exercise based on what I thought was overeating. I did all of this in an effort to achieve a body shape that wasn’t healthy or very attainable for my structure. For a long time I counted calories but after struggling through a soul-destroying eating disorder I stopped because counting calories was a major trigger for me.

After a couple of years of training myself into the ground and eating only foods that I deemed “healthy”, all the while being completely fearful, restrictive and obsessive with my eating habits, I discovered Flexible dieting or IIFYM. The method gave me complete freedom when it came to food sources and instead, focused on the macronutrient profile of said foods. Daily goals were determined by macronutrient quantities and apart from adhering to micronutrient, fibre and vegetable guidelines there was absolutely no restriction on what or when you ate.

To begin with, I was slightly dubious. How could eating ice cream possibly allow me to lose weight or gain any muscle? I had for a long time convinced myself that there were certain “unhealthy”, junk foods that would only hinder fitness progress and couldn’t possibly be included in daily consumption if you didn’t want to gain kilos of unwanted fat.

While IIFYM is not an excuse to fill your days with high-sugar junk foods it does allow for a balanced lifestyle. It proves that you don’t need to discriminate or choose only bland, basic foods in order to put on muscle, increase strength or lose body fat. For those who think flexible dieters only eat chocolate and processed crap- you are wrong. It would be near impossible to hit macro targets with only these food sources. Flexible dieting is merely a more sustainable approach to achieving fitness goals and for anybody feeling trapped by low carb, restrictive diets that consist of too much asparagus and chicken– I beg you to try a different way.

Funny how things change

At first all I wanted was to be thin. I felt way bigger than all of my friends, clothes didn’t look good on me, and I had to wear a size 10 while everybody else was in a 6 or 8. My thighs were at least double the size of all the other girls, I had to suck my tummy in because it wasn’t flat like theirs; I was far too big, far too awkward. Or so I thought. So I ate so little I made myself sick.

After that I decided I just wanted to be really lean. I needed a flat stomach, I needed a really round bum and I needed to be really tanned and fit looking, just like the girls in all the photos I had saved for “fitspo”. In my mind I had a lot of body fat and a lot of cellulite, I wasn’t attractive or fit. I made sure I “earned” the food I ate; I’d need to sweat a lot to make up for all the meals that were making me feel so large. So I trained daily, sometimes twice and if I missed a session I’d feel like a failure.

After that I decided I just wanted to be myself. I looked in the mirror and realised what I had was beautiful and unique and curvaceous. I realised that by eternally chasing something I didn’t possess all I was doing was making myself miserable. I realised that wanting to be anything but myself was a tragedy. I decided I wanted to be happy and fit. I wanted to be proud of a lifestyle that was vibrant and balanced and live a life that was full of love, fun, and achievement and without restriction. So I did and I’ve never looked back.

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